I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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