I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
