I can text with my tongue
love makes seman taste better
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he fucked my hip out of place.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
