There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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