I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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