So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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