I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he shaved USA in his pubs
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
