it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
