It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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