Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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