It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's shark week go big or go home
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
