At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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