Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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