If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
