It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
