My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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