The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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