shes about as inviting as chlamydia
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
