What a fucking waste of an outfit
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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