He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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