8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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