Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
