Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
