I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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