I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
