Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
