ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You dont lie about slip and slides
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The power of my boobs compel you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
