I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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