I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
