Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
