You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
