What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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