there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
