What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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