you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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