I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
