I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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