you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
