So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
