I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
