Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
