i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
