stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
