I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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