Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I understand Curling. That high.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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