well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
