You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
