I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
too bad you live with your parents still
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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