It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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