my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
