I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
A+ Viking dick
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
